God's Little Miracles

Since I started this blog, more often than not, I would write about movies, boys, shopping, looking good, and sometimes about my being impulsive and irresponsible. I know I had not written a handful but if you go back to all my entries, you would know how shallow I could get or how my little joys could revolve around anything material and superficial.

Today, I woke up in high spirits. I don’t know why but my heart is just filled with bliss, I could cry. I knew I had to write about it.

These past few weeks have been difficult for me. I am financially challenged right now and as much as I don’t want to dwell on it, I could not deny the fact that I NEED MONEY.

About two weeks ago I received a bad news from a close friend. He needed a big amount of money for something very important. It was not a life and death situation though but maybe, or maybe not, a little something to that scale. I have known this person for almost eight solid years now and although I don’t have much, I knew that I had to help him. I lend him a small amount of money which was like 1/15 of the amount that he needed. It was not big but it meant my meal and transportation allowance for more than a week that I had to barrow from the office money (which is a big no-no but I paid it already). I may be broke, I may not earn much but right that moment I felt that it was the right thing to do. Fast forward to two weeks later, he would not return our calls and text messages (He also owes the same amount to my other friend, Micor). Well, you do the rationalization but it caused me to withdraw the maintaining balance from my ATM. Then another dilemma came-- our housemates are moving out of the house by end of June. And since they we’re the original occupants of our apartment, they shouldered the advance rent and security deposits way back. For the last two months of their stay, they decided to just use that security deposit. Meaning, by the time they move out, we will be paying the apartment owner the advance rent and security deposits just like when you first move in an apartment. Before 30^th of June, my other housemates and I each need to come up with an amount which is more than what I earn every half of the month. Micor and I had to sell some of our stuffs to raise money.

It’s crazy! Totally draining! But guess what I have been doing lately. Just this payday, I bought a new bag from Schu. It was on sale and my most trusted bag is almost giving up. (Oh well, I could give you all the justifications in the world!) Also, you might have noticed I have been going to the movies a lot lately. Then, almost every day, I would take a cab when I could ride a jeepney to the office. I am certain that God really is testing my will power everyday and often times, I fail. I feel guilty on how I would find myself in this constant struggle whether I’d eat out or not or whether I would buy those two pairs of CMG shoes for Php999 (yes! 2pairs for P999) or not. It’s ridiculous! See how shallow I am? I want to punish myself for that! It’s really embarrassing. There are much, much greater things to think about on earth than a pair of wooden platform sandals to go with my bag or a new pair of dark skinnies to match a top I have not worn! I feel so guilty I could spend a thousand for a bag but I don’t give to church anymore. It feels really bad.

I suppose the whole thing have bottled up that last Saturday I was drowning in guilt; I could not sleep. There were a lot of things that kept running in my head. The next day is church day and I don’t know but it dawned on me that I should give some amount to church. Okay, not just any amount… Say, one tenth of what I earn. (I should not be writing this but I want to share my story.) I would not say that I knew what I was doing. I doubted it. God knows how much I only have by now. But that’s what my other self was telling me to do. And I did. I gave a portion of my earnings to church yesterday. I felt great but at the same time anxious that my resources left would not be enough. But I’m letting God do His miracle. I’m not even counting how much I have in my pocket now.

Today, I woke up full of enthusiasm. If most of my mornings I wake up late and rush to the bathroom to shower, today was different. I was able to say a little prayer when I got up. And I did not take a cab to the office. Cabs usually cost me P50.00 from our apartment to the office. I could save as much as P37.00 if I only take two jeepney rides. But would you believe today I was able to save P40.00? Two generous jeepney drivers gave me P5.00 each for my change instead of P3.50. Call it coincidence but hey, how often do these things happen to you? I paid P10.00 to each jeepney that I took. There were other passengers. The driver could always ask if they have loose change or if I have P1.50. I believe those were only two little miracles on top of God’s GREAT miracles today. It’s like His way of telling me that I should not worry because He is there, that things will be alright no matter how broke I am, and that I should not doubt His words.

The day is dawning and with God’s grace, my Monday has been beautiful so far. Thank you Jesus!

Philippians 4:6
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Malachi 3:10
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,” says the Lord of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.

More beautiful scriptures here.